My summer break is almost over, I return to work in a few days. I feel like I've barely done any writing which is frustrating when I think how much time I have off from school in the summer. Finland's had an amazing summer this year, really warm and sunny, but I haven't taken advantage of it either. Having a week teaching summer school in the middle of the summer broke the time up weirdly. In the first weeks, I had a rush to do all the appointments I was not able to do while working and then when I was just starting to relax I had to go teach in Scotland for over a week. There was an expected bereavement during that week that also threw things out of whack. We knew it was coming soon, but not just then.
I then brought the kids back to Scotland to visit friends and family and that turned a little difficult, I hover between the words traumatic and miserable, but that seems a bit dramatic. All three who came, went into surly teenager mode, even the pre-teen. They didn't want to do anything, even eat and I felt stressed and put out. It left me wishing I had travelled alone as no one seemed to enjoy it.
I remember a similar disastrous cross-country trip when I was a teen, my headphones on the entire time, not wanting to do anything but wander about alone, so I shouldn't be surprised, but it did put a damper on the summer.
So this summer feels incomplete. I don't want to go back to work, though I enjoy my job, and I don't want to push into autumn, but I do want to change the soundtrack for the end of this summer. I've had friends over one evening, and I'm trying to write again in the mornings after wandering out into my garden to water. Maybe combine the two, at least at the weekends.
Today I rode my bike to the library and the plant store and then spent ages trying to sort my cottage garden spot. It's not working well in Finland but I keep trying every summer. I put in new flowers for the heavy winter to kill and dig up plants that haven't made it or just don't suit. The soil is horrible, full of house-building waste and it doesn't get enough rain under the eaves, but this year it was full of tulips in the spring and overrun with irises, so it's not all bad.
I've written a couple of new poems over the past two days which is more than I've written most of the summer. I'm still in the first flush of love with them, but I will let them mellow and see if I can live with them. I have no focus just now, no collection I'm trying to round off or a new theme stuck in my head. Random words or ideas set me off and I just let my writing flow from there. Hopefully, the fallow writing summer will allow for some more growth later on.
Poetry publication news: my poem 'In My Last Phone Call' was published by Ink, Sweat and Tears. It's my second poem to appear on the website.
Not much else to say, I guess slow movement is movement.
