Finding a Balance with the World

I survived the camping with the girls and my youngest son, barely. Our fave campsite has now become stupidly popular, we had a 12-man bachelor party up singing and shooting bb guns until late and a group of giggling mothers into the morning. So I didn't get much sleep. 

The next day they all cleared off and I thought we'd have a couple of quiet hours to decide whether to stay the next night when a 40-person party showed up for a bbq picnic. I need a new campsite close to a fire pit and toilet and not too far to walk from the car. I want to sit near a lake with just my kids splashing about, I want to sit by a fire in the silence of the woods. We had a lovely time cooking over the fire and swimming and just chilling, but it was just too noisy and crowded. I felt like I was crashing someone else's party just trying to cook a sausage on the communal fire pit.

There's a balance point that I always struggle with between what I need and what others need. I'm not always good at meeting both, especially with my kids, but also with my own needs and with others. I'd be happy camping alone, so I can write and do as I please. However, I went camping with my kids who have their own wishes, to a place where there are conveniences that make camping with kids easier. They loved it, having everything near and so did lots of others, so I had to share or not stay a second night. We came home. 

I have an upcoming writers' retreat with my writing group Helsinki Writers. It's also a weird balance. We want a social atmosphere, but we want to focus a bit on writing. We say we want to do writing activities and talk, but when we get there we mostly want to drink and chat. This is our third year and we're still getting the mechanics in place. It will be a good time however we work it. I will make my own time for writing and hopefully, some people will show up for my own little session. And least we're keeping our festivities in a private place, not taking over a public space.

I've been reminded on Twitter recently that coming in August is The Sealey Challenge, to read a poetry book or a chapbook every day. I have a pile of books unread that I'll give a go. There are probably not enough for one every day, but some of them are longer, so it might take me a few days to finish. I'd like to write a short review of each as well which I'll try to share on Twitter and this blog. 

Here are a few of the books I have for the challenge. I also have a few on my Kindle app. And if I have time I will also read some of the magazine issues I've fallen behind on recently. As school starts in a week and I have a new role, I know I won't be able to keep up with the Challenge every day, but if I manage to get through this pile and write a quick review, I will be happy

Sorry, realised I've read the Fiona Benson book, it's her new book Ephemeron I'm reading this time. I thought it didn't look right. 

That's another balance I'm not good at, keeping up with my poetry reading. I read a lot of fiction, I write a ton of poetry, but I struggle to read poetry. I love individual poems, but collections are hard for me to get into unless they have some strong pull. I'm not sure what it is, a theme or story going through or just really outstanding poems or what, but The Sealey Challenge is a good way to read those collections I've bought over the year, but never finished or sometimes even started due to other commitments. Even reading whole journals I've been published in can be a challenge. 

If you write poetry, do you read much of it? Do you read the magazines you're published in? Please, tell me how to balance it all. 

Scottish Book Tour Part 3

Last day of summer break before I go back to work, a week before my class comes back. It's been a strange summer, back to travelling, a bit of relaxing, a bit of personal stress. The kids are old enough to entertain among themselves, but not good at going out to find their friends due to Covid, so I think they'll be excited to go back to school.

Getting to go back to Scotland twice was amazing. Once on my own to Lewis and Harris with lots of writing and relaxing, once with some of the kids to Glasgow to see friends and family. Both were pretty perfect. After my big book haul in Ullapool, we also hit the bookshops in Glasgow. My younger son has gotten into manga, so Forbidden Planet became his Mecca and after he struggled for so long to get into reading with dyslexia, I was happy to oblige him. Luckily the airline didn't weigh our carryons as I think between the two of us they were a bit heavy with books.

With the travelling, I just managed to finish Ponies at the Edge of the World by Catherine Munro this week. I have to admit I'm not a real non-fiction reader, I struggle with being told what connections to make when reading, but I was a pony-crazy girl, so this seemed a natural draw to me, Scotland and ponies. 

The book's not really about Shetland ponies, though they are the hook that drew the author to Shetland as well as me to the book. Munro uses ponies and the relationship between man and animal in an environment to look at her own developing relationship with the Shetland Islands and how she found her own place within it. Filled with beautiful descriptions of the ponies and other native animals and landscapes, Munro draws us to the beauty of the islands. 

It's her descriptions of the local people I found more interesting. She doesn't shy from the Shetlandic language and shares some local traditions and customs, but she was also able to capture how the small population spread out over the islands manages to create a strong sense of community, between each other and the land. Her non-fiction asides on adaptation and connection to place which were part of the research that took her to Shetland were applied to the ponies and the people and herself, but didn't feel too heavy-handed. 

Ponies at the Edge of the World shares a unique view of the Shetland Islands and its people and animals, connected to each other and their landscape and how choosing to be a part of this place requires a sense of personal adaptation and acceptance. Worth a read. 

August is the Sealey Challenge month, to read a book of poetry a day for the entire month. It's already the second and with school starting for me tomorrow, I know it isn't going to happen. I did pick up some poetry books in Scotland, so my goal is to read them over this month. I post on Twitter first and then collect them here as I did last year. 

The Sealey Challenge: Days 15, 16, 18 and 21

I'm definitely not able to keep up with a book a day for The Sealey Challenge, but I've read more poetry this month already than I've read in the last year. So a successful attempt for me. I maybe need to do something similar with some of the poetry magazines I get as I can never keep up with all the reading for them either. 

It's been storming here after such a dry summer, we've been flooded with so much rain. So it's nice to curl up with poetry in the evenings after work as a way to wind down. 

Day 14: Remember, Body by CP Cavafy. I loved reading The Alexandria Quartet by Lawrence Durrell once upon a time and Cavafy was mentioned many times, so I picked up the Penguin Classic mini-edition just to get an idea of what his poetry was like. 

This is a collection of short, mostly erotic poems, all tinged with a sense of longing and despair at the passing of time and the loss of loved ones. I love 'Painted Things' where he admits that sometimes he's discouraged by writing and just wants to sit and think about love.

Durrell's collection of novels echo Cavafy's Alexandria and his feeling of desperate and often forbidden love. Cavafy has lovely little touches of humour and a deep sense of the history of Alexandria running through his poems which lift them above just mere love stories. This little collection makes me want to explore more of his work.

Day 16: inside looking in by the brilliant poet and teacher Tom Leonard. I was lucky enough to have Tom read and critique my work when I first arrived in Scotland. For me, he was the epitome of Glasgow, rough but warm, honest but brutal. My work needed his sharp eye, and pen and it was a watershed moment for me with my writing and with my relationship with Scotland. 

This little chapbook was published in 2004 by the now defunct Survivors' Press as part of their daemon series. He was a first-class poet with his own style, tight, often humorous often written in phonetic Glaswegian Scots. His voice often directly addresses the reader, often harshly, demanding attention, but some of these poems are more tender than others I've read, settling down to sleep with his wife or watching women knitting. 

This chapbook is no longer available, I managed to grab one of the last copies when the editor was having a clear-out, but his collection Intimate Voices is a brilliant one to start with, but it looks like it is also out of print. His work really needs to be republished. 

Day 18: The Weight of Oranges by Anne Michaels. Rich and dense, metaphor piled on metaphor, Michaels' poems cannot be read quickly. They are long and heavy and need time to be digested. She is a poet highly aware of the poetic in the smallest moments, in rain, in different tones and textures of light, the lisp of the wind. Her poems often address an unknown speaker, so I feel a sense of disassociation as I adjust to the new scene and character, but then I become submerged in their voice and images. 

I came to Anne Michaels through her novel Fugitive Pieces so poetic and tightly written, it has the same sense as her poems, of sifting through time, memory and the layers of a connection between the speaker and the person addressed. 

I need to spend more time in these poems, to catch each image as they build upon the previous and to delve into the places the poems create. I never feel at ease in her work, aware that I am missing something, but I continue to return to them in order to find my way. 

Day 21: Nobody by Alice Oswald. A heady mix of mythical and modern-day imagery, aeroplanes and styrofoam floats on purple seas, dawn waking rosy-fingered behind net curtains. I loved Greek myths when I was young and really enjoyed the the current retelling of Circe and Achilles by Madeline Miller, so this 2019 collection by the Oxford Professor of Poetry caught my eye. This book-length poem plays with the stories of the poet from 'The Illiad' who was to spy on Agamemnon's wife, but then was abandoned on a stony island which allowed the wife to be seduced with the tale of Odysseus and his faithful wife from 'The Odyssey'. The poem is punctuation free, line breaks shifting across the pages leaving large white spaces and images that seem scoured by tides.

The sea is the strongest character in the book, its moods set the tone, but the poem says 'the sea itself has no character just this horrible thirst' and that feeling is strong throughout the book. The speakers feel like a true nobody of wives and poets, gods and sailors, it's never clear who you're listening to. The poem feels at once ancient and new, jumbled, found in pieces on some beach. I've just discovered that the book was meant to go with a collection of watercolours by William Tillyer, but I don't have that version. Shame really, as a quick internet search shows that they would really expand the poem. A captivating read.

Personal note: I've had two poems published by Fevers of the Mind poetry and art blog recently which has a nice mix of writings and reviews. I've also had a concrete poem in the second half of the current issue of streetcake. Not my usual style but an interesting experiment. 

The Sealey Challenge: Days 9, 10, 12 and 14

I spent the weekend with my writing group at a Writers Retreat. We booked a big events cottage in Eastern Finland and drove up on Friday after school. It was amazing that we managed to get 11 people together after such a difficult 18 months. We spent time sharing our work, talking about various writing issues and some time writing, but most of all we spent time laughing and sharing. It was very much needed. 

I didn't do any reading over the trip, but I'm back on the horse with #The Sealey Challenge: Day 9: Glimt av opphav - Glims o Origin by Christine De Luca, , a Shetland poet. Christine's poems are in the Shetland dialect of Scots and then translated to Norwegian by Odd Goksøyr. Christine gave me this collection when she visited Helsinki a few years back promoting a project because I speak some Norwegian and have studied the Scots language in university. I really enjoyed reading these poems out loud, in Norwegian and Shetlandic, seeing how the languages are so closely connected. Her poems examine the overlapping of the two cultures as in 'Thule Revisted'/'Tilbake to Thule' where Norwegian sailors arrive in Shetland to the delight of the locals as well as various characters, places and cultural highlights of the islands. The poems range from their geological beginnings to modern day, even beyond Shetland. 

I love that Christine doesn't shy away from mixing science and it's language with that of history and old myths, bringing Shetland into the modern age with a generous nod to its origins, hence the title. The poems are rich, linguistically, images and sounds evoking the place, the people and their stories. Beautifully crafted.

Day 10: Richard Hugo, The Right Madness on Skye. I read this book decades ago and brought it out of my loft a few years back, but hadn't gotten around until now to reread it. Not quite fitting the idea of buying new books, but I can't afford that many books just now.

Richard Hugo has an amazing sense of place, I loved his book on writing The Triggering Town which focuses more on his method and connection to location in his poems. This collection wraps his poems around the spirit of the Isle of Skye, connecting with the living and dead inhabitants, so spending time on the island in Scotland allowed him to do just that on many different levels. 

He explores Skye's history, mythology, geography, the despair still felt after the Clearances, the love of Gaelic and mysterious Celts. The image of a strange woman often pops up on the periphery of his stories, looking on in warning like Cassandra, knowing too much, but never listened to.

His poems often feel rambling, like he's chasing their ideas through the landscape until he can get to grip with them. But then he's sharing their truths with you over a whiskey. Hugo was one of my favourite poets when I was in university out in the Pacific Northwest where he was originally based and I now remember why. His honesty over his struggles and fears with his writing, his life and life in general feel so sincere and at times heartbreaking. This was a lovely reread.

Since school has started back with a rough bang, I'm turning to my collection of chapbooks I've received as part of Hedgehog Poetry Press's Cult of the Spiny Hog I joined a couple of years back. For a yearly fee you receive copies of all the books the Press publishes, and also free entry to any competition. 

Day 12: Before it's too late by Sarah P Thomson. I'm tired with my first week back at work, so I'm going for a shorter chapbook published by @hedgehogpoetry. 

I've always said I'm not a great fan of poems that work with strict forms, but I found the way the poems in this chapbook use repeated lines in villanelles and pantoums and other forms really mesmerising. How the same line repeated two or three times changes the meaning of that particular line,but also the lines around it, giving them more weight or reversing their intention entirely. Thomson's poems tempt me to want to try more of these styles, to create such elaborate layers. She touches on many subjects, but the title links them all together beautifully.

Day 14: Taxus Baccata by Patricia M Osborne. Another Hedgehog chapbook that I received as part of their Cult subscription. It's worth joining. Taxus Baccata is a collection of nature poems focusing especially on birds and trees. Osbourne examines disparate beauty and savagery of birds, magpies cannibalising a flock-mate, a swan mother and the decline of ancient trees. She mixes mythology with slow, detailed descriptions of yews, oaks, swans and seagulls. Her rich language drips with colours, textures and movement. This book is a delightful read.

In other news, I have had a poem published in Stand Magazine. I recently came across an old notebook where I kept track of my early submissions and according to that I first submitted in Stand in 1996. It's taken me all this time to have some work accepted, but I'm overjoyed it's happened and with my poem 'The Perfume of Rain' which I particularly love. So a proper dream publication. 

The Sealey Challenge: Days 2, 3 and 4

School started for the teachers yesterday and I was more tired than I thought possible for a handful of meetings and scrapping old stickers off laptops. Back at it today, but I've been trying to keep up with the Sealey Challenge to read a short collection of poetry a day. Day 2: How to Lose Your Home and Save Your Life by Angela Carr. I've worked with Angela as a mentee and through her online courses. I've really enjoyed the courses, she puts so much work into finding poems that help open the prompts. This is her first collection. These poems show such a wide range of skills, pushing the language to carry so much weight and story. They don't feel burdened, but strong and resilient. Angela works the poems with apparent ease, I loved the villanelle 'Afterlife'. She brings to life so many intimate details that build up the layers of the poems, so reading them feels like diving. I can't wait to see Angela's future work. Day 3: Field Work by Seamus Heaney. I found this in the book exchange at my school and I don't think I've ever read a complete Heaney collection, just a lot of singular poems. I wasn't familiar with these poems, so it was nice to see a different side of the poet. I was caught out by the beauty of 'Oysters' the first poem that was quickly followed by poems about Northern Ireland's violence which obviously haunted him even after he moved to Ireland. I even enjoyed his 'Glanmore Sonnets' which didn't have the strict feel I usually find of the form. This challenge has been eye-opening: reading entire short collections of poetry gives new insight. Usually I focus on individual poems and dive into the language, but following the poet's intent of how they craft the flow of the poems as a group offers that bit more for a first read. I think I'll try to do this more often.

Day 4: When I Think of My Body as a Horse by Wendy Pratt. I've worked with Wendy for years, first as a mentee through the WoMentoring Programme and then through her courses as well, available on her site. She's inspired many of my recent poems through her prompts and helped me learn to write daily again after struggling for years with various issues.

I've probably been unconsciously avoiding reading all of this book, because I knew it would be a tough read. The poems follow Pratt's journey in hope of becoming a mother, the loss of her daughter shortly after birth and her struggle to comes to terms with her death and the fact that she wouldn't ever have another child. They are raw and difficult to read, especially if you have struggled with any of these issues.

But they are beautiful, honest and tight knit. She uses the metaphors of her body as animals, horses and hares, repeatedly, but they never feel tired or overworked. They fit each moment and the language draws you into the hope and grief, the longing to escape and at the same time be present in all the emotional turmoil.

Pratt is a superb at crafting, story, imagery and language come together with exquisite delicacy. Each poem builds upon the next. The sense of the poet being aware and present in each moment gives these poems special weight. The reader slips them on like an animal's spirit. They are a wonderful read.

We'll see how many more books I manage with work being full on again. It's nice to have managed even these four.

Sealey Challenge: Day 1

Summer is almost over here in Finland, after months of high temps and no rain, thunderstorms hit last night and it's been raining all day. Schools start back in a week, so we're on the wind-down. 

I'm torn about going back, I will miss the lazy days, but I would really like to talk to adults again. My stress insomnia has already started up, but hopefully that will pass once I go back for our orientation. 

I've decided to try the Sealey Challenge this month, to read a poetry collection a day for the month of August. I have to admit I'm not good at keeping up with my poetry reading. I buy collections and dip into them, but often struggle to sit down and read the whole book at once. 

I'm not sure if I'll get through a whole collection in one day and will sometimes feel I'm not doing justice to the poet. I read fiction quickly, too quickly to appreciate play of language and technique unless I force myself to really slow down like I'm doing with my current reread of Sunset Song by Lewis Grassic Gibbon which is a beautifully poetic novel and needs a slow read. 

I will treat this challenge as the introduction to the poems I'm reading, a first splash about and then I can spend some time fully exploring my favourites later.

So Day 1: The Stone Age by Jen Hadfield. The book takes me further into all the things I love about Jen's work, the play of language, delving deep into imagery, an intense awareness of place and culture. I had been slowly digesting these poems since I bought it, but I'm glad I've dived into the whole book as it builds a world around the poems using the particular typeset and poem placement.

Jen says the poems look at neurodiversity. I love that she challenges my idea of how a poem works, untethering punctuation, unexpected line breaks though I feel I'm moving blindly not sure how to take a line that begins with a comma or the large, faint poems that seem to fade off the page. I am trying to give up some of my preconceived notions of poetry, but I want to find some recordings of her reading some of the poems, so I can feel and hear how she wades through them.

Jen is a friend and inspiration. I've been looking forward to seeing where her next book would take her. A beautifully sculpted collection.

My poem 'Hiraeth' has been published in the new issue of The Ogham Stone. Copies can be ordered here. It's one of those magazines I've been trying to get into for a while and a poem I've been hoping to find a home for probably even longer, so them coming together is a blessed event. The magazine is a weighty, professional read with fiction, poetry and reviews and I'm honoured to be included with so many excellent writers. 

Marble Poetry has also published one of my poems in Issue 9. Smaller, but equally beautifully produced the issue has work by some familiar names like Anna Saunders and Matthew Duggan and a few new ones I'm going to discover. Check it out.

Both magazines were nice enough to send me hard copies in Finland which I really appreciate. I know not all print magazines can afford that these days, so I'm very grateful.