Heading out of 2023

We're past the solstice, the shortest day, and heading into the new year. The kids and I have pushed our schedules back, staying up too late and waking when the sun is actually above the horizon. It feels odd to see the sun during the day, I usually drive to work in the dark and come home in the same. I need to start taking my recess or lunch break outside, so get some direct light. It might help with my mood. 

Not much has changed in terms of writing since my last post. I'm still barely writing, I don't even have anything to edit really. I keep sending my books out and they keep coming back declined. I don't know what to do there. I've even sent out the one that has been on hold at my publishers for going on 4 years. No communication there again from my editor since his once-a-year group email. 

I've had a vague look at my publication stats for 2023. They reflect my apathy and lack of direction for the past year. I don't write to get published, but external validation is part of the process and it helps motivate me. I want to feel a part of the writing community by contributing to it, but lately, I haven't had that.

I hate that I'm so down, it's moved into all aspects of my life and I'm not sure where it stems from and how to change things. Christmas is a tough time for me anyway, being so far from family and friends. I'm hoping 2024 will begin to grow a bit brighter. 

November Writer's Fatigue

It's cold and dark and I'm struggling. I have most of the weekend free so want to do some writing, but I have writer's fatigue or block or something and can't get motivated. I'm doing some vague editing of poems that aren't going anywhere. I feel I'm spinning my wheels and the weekend is ticking away. All the poems I've written feel like I'm rehashing the same subjects. Trying new subjects fall leaden. Poetry prompts aren't inspiring any new work. I'd like to submit some poems, but everything that I feel is any good is tied up with magazines that have remained silent. My collection is still sitting with the publisher four years on and no sign of ever being published. My new collection keeps getting handed back to me by other publishers: declined, no comment. I'm so tired after work on Friday that going to my writing group seems like a chore, especially empty-handed. I can't even make the in-person meetings because of family commitments. Trying to follow things on Zoom is difficult. I'm whiney and sick of myself in this mood. I am probably writing more than I think, even if it's a few lines here and there. It's the slog that's wearing me down. And other worries that are not lightened by lifting a pen or fingers touching the keyboard. The dark spiral towards winter. All that is left undone. 

Autumn's Brewing - Scotstober 2023 and When the Readers Don't Get A Poem

October is my month, my favourite month. Autumn in full swing, brazen colours and spice. Wet and slowing down. I bake, I cook, I begin to build a nest to hibernate in. It's also our autumn school holiday, so I've actually been able to do all those things which is more difficult when I'm working.

October is also #scotstober month. Scotstober is a challenge to learn and use a new Scots word every day. Here's the Twitter post for this year.  I love it, some are familiar to me, and some are new. I have done various takes on the challenge, sometimes finding poems that use the word, other times writing my own few lines. This year I'm doing the latter and creating a poem using some of the words. I can't keep up with all 31 words, but it's Day 22 and I have most of a poem written. 

As with most of my Scots poems, I prefer to use words I've heard in context or am comfortable with. Some words in the Scotstober challenge are older and not used much, so they don't feel right in my poems. So as I'm bringing this together as a poem, I'm changing some words to suit me. I'm grateful for the inspiration Scotstober brings.

Here's my Scotstober posts from my Mastadon and Twitter @grimalkingerry accounts. 

Day 20 and 22 - ablow and glower - below and to stare angrily.   

ah hunker doon ablow thi storm, 

thi glowerin cloods   

Day 13 fuil - a fool

a fuil thinkin

at thi year birls back on itsel

swallies its ain tail

ah micht hae growed ruits

but ahm no staundin still

Day 11 - marra - marrow

in mah marra ah ken this endin

it faws frae mah een,

frae thi birks an thi lift

an it faws tae me 

tae find mah new beginin.

Day 7 hunker - to stoop or to submit to one's circumstances

hunkerin doon aneath thi storm

bieldit but waws an a ruif 

arnae an acceptance o hame

Day 6 ettle - to try, to strive

ahm ettlin tae no sing thi same thrain,

but thi rain an its pebbly sklyter

drouns oot mah will

Day 5 faur - far

mah vizzie flits faur aff

intae thi next saison 

when gowd dees in cauld an banes

ruggin at thi braes

Day 4 - stamagast - astonished or disappointed

ahm stamagastert at thi leafs shift

ilka October, ilka year

thi claik lik a skelp av thi clock

Day 2 - doon - down

ahm fawin doon

wirds ah cannae unnerstaund

lik stanes in mah shoes

Day 1 - fain - happy or glad.

 

ah cannae pertend tae be fain

tae see thi snaw ootline thi trees

So I am writing, which I haven't really been doing lately. Not a lot, but a little bit as often as I can. However, the poems I've been working on haven't done too well when I've workshopped them with my main writers' group and another smaller online group I've joined. 

Sometimes I bring poems to workshop when I know there's something not right and I can't quite figure it out. A few sets of new eyes, often those who don't write poetry themselves, can help to unravel the problem. 

There's always a big pause after I read, but I'm used to that as poems can need more time to be digested than stories. But with one poem recently, the silence was longer than usual and weighted with the feeling of 'we don't get it' that I sometimes get when I read to this group. 

That's why I brought the poem, I was afraid it's too dense or obtuse, that the connections I've made are too close to my own thinking and not as obvious as I'd like for a public poem. So I get as much feedback as I can and then take it home and work on it. This particular poem has gone to the group twice and is still not hitting the mark. 

It's harder to get that dead silence when you think the poems are done, that they work. I had that happen in the online group with a poem I love and think works. It's not a subtle poem, I thought. There is an added layer if you know the book mentioned in the subtitle, but I didn't think it was necessary to the understanding. But they're not getting it and I now am debating whether I need to edit the poem and make it more obvious or hope that it's not as hidden as the readers suggest. 

I always tell the people I teach and other writers in writing groups that in the end the piece is your own, you make the changes you want. This doesn't always apply as fully when you want to get published, especially if you're working with an editor. The poem or story is leaving your side, it has to be able to exist on its own without follow-up questions. 

But you also don't want to spoon-feed the reader. I, at least, want them to work a little, to read closely, to make connections, to problem-solve the work. If they don't immediately get it, will they move on to the next poem in the magazine or collection and never give that poem a chance? Or will they slow down and do another read to find the gem you think you've written?

When do you draw the line and either say I'm not changing my poem or give in and make it more accessible, but lose your feel for what is right with the poem? When do you write for your audience?

Enjoy what's left of your October.

Slow Motion

The end of summer is always difficult, even this year when it's hung on much longer than usual. Things have been hard lately, at home, at work, with the kids, with me. I have no motivation for anything besides getting through work and keeping things ticking over at home. My new job is going pretty well, but some days it's too much, a steep learning curve. 

As a result, I haven't written much, even though autumn is sneaking in, my favourite time of year. Usually, I'm writing tons connected with the change of season, but I'm just half-heartedly editing the poems I was working on over the summer. A few moments here and there towards my goals.

I've started a series of poems on Finnish animals, really animals in Finland as none of them are particularly Finnish, hares, cranes, elk, magpies. I haven't written about the norppa seal or reindeer, animals I connect with Finland, though I might. The creatures I've chosen take on a Finnish persona, though they are animals I know from elsewhere. I'm mixing my love of nature with my focus on belonging to a place. The animals are guides, gods or representations of myself, moving through Finland with the will to understand, if not accept, the world around them.

These new poems have made the Finnish collection change again which is intruiging. Its early incarnations were about me struggling to adapt to living here in connection with my family, hanging on to the remnants of my life in Scotland. As I said, these new poems are not necessarily about accepting my life here, but more just listening to the voices of Finland more intently. Stepping out of myself for brief wanders.

All this sounds like I'm writing a blurb for the book, but it's nice to sort out my thoughts on it. And who knows, it might be useful someday as a blurb.

I'm not submitting as much as I usually do either, focussing more on sending manuscripts to book publishers for the inevitable rejection or just radio silence. I can never tell if publisher

My poem 'Sisu and Jag' has been published by Sídhe Press in their collection Glisk and Glimmer. I can't wait to get a look at it.

It's a three-day weekend, the leaves are starting to fall and even though I have a 10-year-old sleepover happening tonight, I'm going to try and chill for the rest of the weekend. Maybe even do a bit of writing. 

Take care. 

Finding a Balance with the World

I survived the camping with the girls and my youngest son, barely. Our fave campsite has now become stupidly popular, we had a 12-man bachelor party up singing and shooting bb guns until late and a group of giggling mothers into the morning. So I didn't get much sleep. 

The next day they all cleared off and I thought we'd have a couple of quiet hours to decide whether to stay the next night when a 40-person party showed up for a bbq picnic. I need a new campsite close to a fire pit and toilet and not too far to walk from the car. I want to sit near a lake with just my kids splashing about, I want to sit by a fire in the silence of the woods. We had a lovely time cooking over the fire and swimming and just chilling, but it was just too noisy and crowded. I felt like I was crashing someone else's party just trying to cook a sausage on the communal fire pit.

There's a balance point that I always struggle with between what I need and what others need. I'm not always good at meeting both, especially with my kids, but also with my own needs and with others. I'd be happy camping alone, so I can write and do as I please. However, I went camping with my kids who have their own wishes, to a place where there are conveniences that make camping with kids easier. They loved it, having everything near and so did lots of others, so I had to share or not stay a second night. We came home. 

I have an upcoming writers' retreat with my writing group Helsinki Writers. It's also a weird balance. We want a social atmosphere, but we want to focus a bit on writing. We say we want to do writing activities and talk, but when we get there we mostly want to drink and chat. This is our third year and we're still getting the mechanics in place. It will be a good time however we work it. I will make my own time for writing and hopefully, some people will show up for my own little session. And least we're keeping our festivities in a private place, not taking over a public space.

I've been reminded on Twitter recently that coming in August is The Sealey Challenge, to read a poetry book or a chapbook every day. I have a pile of books unread that I'll give a go. There are probably not enough for one every day, but some of them are longer, so it might take me a few days to finish. I'd like to write a short review of each as well which I'll try to share on Twitter and this blog. 

Here are a few of the books I have for the challenge. I also have a few on my Kindle app. And if I have time I will also read some of the magazine issues I've fallen behind on recently. As school starts in a week and I have a new role, I know I won't be able to keep up with the Challenge every day, but if I manage to get through this pile and write a quick review, I will be happy

Sorry, realised I've read the Fiona Benson book, it's her new book Ephemeron I'm reading this time. I thought it didn't look right. 

That's another balance I'm not good at, keeping up with my poetry reading. I read a lot of fiction, I write a ton of poetry, but I struggle to read poetry. I love individual poems, but collections are hard for me to get into unless they have some strong pull. I'm not sure what it is, a theme or story going through or just really outstanding poems or what, but The Sealey Challenge is a good way to read those collections I've bought over the year, but never finished or sometimes even started due to other commitments. Even reading whole journals I've been published in can be a challenge. 

If you write poetry, do you read much of it? Do you read the magazines you're published in? Please, tell me how to balance it all. 

Rewriting Memories and Poetry Colllections

Summer is winding down, I only have a few weeks before I go back to work. I want to just wallow in it a bit longer, enjoy the lack of routine, the untethered flow of hours. The kids need a bit more structure but fight against any attempts. We're still going to the lakes, picking blueberries, working in the garden, enjoying the slow days.

The youngest wants to go camping, but it never works out like she thinks. She wants to build a fire and eat marshmallows but forgets the rest, the forest without screens, with insects and uncomfortable sleeping bags. But she's looking forward to it, so we'll give it another try. The boys already opt-out of stuff like this, so it will probably be just us girls. The boys have decided they don't like that sort of things, though the last time they came they enjoyed it. It's funny how we rewrite memories. 

I said in my last blog that I had started writing some different, fresher material. This has coincided with me going through all my poems and retiring poems that I didn't feel were strong or good enough. Most of these poems were not in one of the two or three collections I have in progress, so it was easy to just pack them away in a Retired Poems folder. I might go back in the future and have a look at them to try and refresh or reuse some of the material and I know they're still there if I want to use one or two, but it feels good to shift them out of sight. 

I write a lot, see note about having three collections going, but many of the poems I write are good enough on their own, but don't work well with others or my style has changed and I just don't find them as appealing anymore. I then went through the collections and had a cull as well. I didn't take out as many poems, but I changed the direction of one book, so I did need to take about a third away. It feels liberating to pare things down, to turn towards this new direction. 

I have one of those collections with a publisher, but it's been stalled for four years. In the meantime, I've rearranged and edited it over and over. It's better, certainly, but it doesn't make the wait feel any better. It's just so frustrating, not knowing when or if it will happen. I don't know if I'd be happier to have the collection the way it is, basically better, or to have it earlier, so I can move on. I sometimes feel like I'm still stuck in that place where the collection inhabits until it's published as I keep revisiting the poems as I edit. It will be nice to be free of them, in a sense. Until then it's a waiting game. A wading game as I move through the poems, just up to my ankles, occasionally plashing about.

My writing group is having its third annual retreat in two weeks. I'm looking forward to it. I have to drive, but besides that it will be just hanging out with people I like, writing, talking writing, eating and drinking, jumping in the hottub. It's a blast and I always manage to write a poem or two while I'm there. The day after we come back, I'm off to work. So that will be the end of summer, a proper send off. 

Slowing Down into the Summer, Summer, Summertime

School is finally done and the sun is shining. The weather has been amazing, so hot and clear. Not great for the garden or the forests to go so long without rain, but the long days of light and heat are a relief. Beach weather, park weather, proper summer weather while we off to enjoy it. 

Appointments are winding down and most alarms are turned off. I'm trying to make the most of each day, doing a mix of things I want, things that need to be done and things I should do. So a little housework and repair, big cleaning, gardening and, of course, writing. I have a huge puzzle to finish from Christmas, a cardigan I started years ago, my genealogy research is never-ending. 

I had two weeks after school finished to do what I wanted, but now I have a visitor here and then summer school in Scotland to teach English for ten days. After that's done, I'll be able to focus on having a more relaxed summer. I'm not writing much while my guest is here, but I still get a few minutes here and there. 

I'm enjoying what I'm writing now. My style has changed a bit over the past year. My poetic style is always changing, but I sometimes get caught in a loop of subjects or styles, writing very similar poems for a period and when something comes along to shake me up, I find it refreshing. 

I use prompts to push me out of my rut. Writing from different points of view, occasionally trying a structured form (I'm currently trying to write a palindrome) and looking into unusual events for inspiration. I've even managed to put a bit of humour, sometimes black humour in my poems, playing with ideas that often aren't found together. 

I hope while I'm on my course I'll have time in the evenings to write and continue with this new mood. 

A wee book review of a new Scottish title: I recently read Angus Peter Campbell's Electricity. I'd heard a lot about it and had hoped to be blown away by it. But it's not that kind of book, it doesn't make you want to steam through it, to see how it ends. It's a slow read, a wander through a world that barely exists now and you don't want to rush through it. It sneaks up on you. 

It's a reminiscence of a grandmother, writing to her Australian grandchild about her Hebridean upbringing on an unnamed Scottish island. The people still speak Gaelic and cling to traditional ways in the wake of electricity and an airport coming to the island. 

It's not a novel, in a traditional sense. There are beautifully drawn characters, the speaker Annie, her family, a local shepherd who resists all change, her friends and neighbours. There's not much of a plot other than change is coming to the island. Annie writes what starts out as a letter, but it soon meanders beyond that, skipping through time and theme to draw a warm, comforting picture of a community steeped in traditions and memories. 

I don't believe the book is set on any particular island but seems to connect closest to North and South Uist and Benbecula with its tiny airport. It looks at subjects important to the history of the Hebrides; migration, language, the culture of ceilidhs and farming. Annie's parents and some of her neighbours cling to the traditions of paraffin lamps and peat fires as electricity tempts others with the simplicity of electric fires, refrigeration and lights. But we know how the story ends and from the beginning, there is a sense of loss that too much of this way of life has been lost. 

Campbell's Electricity does a beautiful job of capturing island life and Gaelic culture. It is a reminder to slow down and take note of what is going on around you, right now. 

Enjoy your summer. 

A Rough Spring Start and GloPoWriMo

Every year I desperately wait to be out of the Finnish winter and into spring. Every year Finnish Mother Nature slaps me in the face with my birch allergy. If you've ever been to Finland, you'll know this is a totally unfair allergy. The snow is finally gone, the sun is shining and I can't work on my allotment, my garden, go for a walk or enjoy a Vappu (May Day) picnic without suffering. I was working our annual Finnish Scottish Society ceilidh yesterday and even though I didn't drink I'm suffering because we left a lot of windows open to keep the place cool during all the cooking and dancing. So today is a good day for couch writing with cats and a quick review of my April Poetry Month GloPoWriMo - Global Poetry Writing Month.

As expected I didn't write or post every day, but I think I only missed a few days. Some days were token writing exercises as I just couldn't find a prompt to inspire me, other days I wrote a whole poem. There are bits that might be expanded into a poem, some that just aren't worth it. It was nice to have a kickstart into writing regularly again. I especially enjoyed @toddedillard's prompts as they were unexpected, sometimes surreal but always very original and fun. He has several years' worth of prompts linked there, so I think I will continue to dip into them for inspiration. 

I also used the https://www.napowrimo.net/ site and was introduced to the Finnish poet Olli Heikkonen. He's the first Finnish poet I really could connect with and I could almost understand all the Finnish. It was great to hear him read it on the Poetry International website. It was really inspiring and I've written two poems from that prompt. It also led to some interesting discussions in my writing group about the difference between moose and elk and whether I can use them interchangeably as the Finnish word is the same.

My writing group now has a home after struggling to find a venue. Before Covid, we used the Oodi library in central Helsinki, but they've never gone back to the later opening hours, so we felt a bit rushed to be out by 9pm. Global Art Point - GAP - in Helsinki has kindly agreed to let us use their meeting room on some Friday evenings. Check the Helsinki Writers Facebook page to see which days we're meeting In Real Life. It was so nice this week to catch up with people I haven't seen in ages. 

GloPoWriMo and Spring Cleaning

The holiday weekend has been bliss. I put aside anything I had to do except a first aid online course and just focussed on what I wanted. I tidied toy boxes with the kids, I worked on my puzzle, crocheted, did yoga, some shopping and loads of writing. I should have spent more time outside as it finally feels like spring is here, but I'm not going to beat myself up because I didn't. There were things that I wanted to do inside, so I did them. There's still snow on the ground here, so I can't get into the digging the garden mode yet, so I'm happy to wait. 

Week 1 of GloPoWriMo, the Global Poetry Writing Month, and I've managed something every day. Sometimes a whole poem comes, sometimes just notes. Some of the notes have been used in other poems. some will just decay as compost. I've used a mixture of the NaPoWriMo website's daily prompts and ideas from other places. One poem was inspired by a 6th-grade maths lesson I was in. I hope I didn't look like I was fangirling while taking notes. 

Today I have an online write-along booked with Jen Hadfield. It seems strange to write silently with other writers on a Zoom call. We don't interact except at the check-ins at the beginning and end. We don't share what we've written, and many turn off their camera and mic while writing. It's the booking time with other writers, with the muse to write and the shared activity. Others are with me, struggling to put words on the page, finding the gentle pressure to produce. It does inspire me somehow. 

I just hope something will pop into my mind when I sit down to write as at the moment even with a bunch of prompts in my head I'm drawing a blank. That's often how it works, everything percolates in my skull until I start randomly writing and then somehow it comes together. I see a thread and start tugging on it until the beginning of a poem unravels beneath my hand. Other times I write complete crap, but that's the risk. 

I'm feeling the need to go through my big electronic pile of poems and take out the stuff I really don't like. I could work on fixing them, but some might just be binned. Maybe my style has changed so that I can't see what I like about them before. I've never been one for binning or burning my old poems, my notebooks, my childhood scribbles, but I do put them aside and stop working on them. 

Maybe I need to do a radical version of that. Create a new file of just the poems I currently love, that I want to find a home for, that fit in a collection. Maybe more than one file then, as some I love have already been published. Some have collections where they fit, while others don't. 

This seems to be a symptom of my current spring cleaning fit, not guddling in toyboxes for the broken toys, those who aren't played with anymore, but in poetry files. That's my day planned.  

Global Poetry Writing Month - Getting Started - Day 1

I feel the spring creeping into Finland. It takes its time here, but there are blue skies above the melting snow. The warmth streams in through the windows, but the wind is still biting outside, the grass is finally being revealed, but it's gray and dead. 

I started a yoga class a few weeks back as a way to get my body into motion again after my winter hibernation. I've practised yoga on and off for decades, but with my studies, the kids and generally just being unorganised, I haven't done a class or done much at home for years. I stumbled on a brilliant class and am really enjoying the feeling I get from gently pushing myself. Afterwards, I find someplace for a cup of tea, cake and writing. However, I've been also been struggling to get the writing going, so April's Global Poetry Writing Month challenge #glopowrimo has arrived just in time to give me a creative kickstart. It is most needed. 

From past courses and challenges, I know that I am able to start a poem a day and have learned to enjoy the challenge, so this will be a way to get me working again. The NaPoWriMo/GloPoWriMo website linked above has a daily prompt which helps. I also have a few books to play with for ideas. Even if I don't write every day or write anything decent when I do sit down, I should get a few poems out of it just from that act of trying. 

Day 1 - the theme is 'to judge a book by its cover'. I pondered the idea while I swept up as I waited for the kettle to boil. My life is always a series of multi-tasking, so finding some quiet time to just think and write is unusual. And as often happens the things I was doing snuck into my poem.

Notes from my draft:

You cannot draw a conclusion

from the cover illustrations 

unread at my bedside, 

from the pile of crumbs I sweep away,

from the statues that clutter 

my never used for writing desk

a queen in dismay

a bog cat

a berserker biting down on his shield

we are all cliched

and we are all jagged

a switchback of contradictions

The line 'we are jagged' came from a training lecture we had at my school recently, referring to the fact that on any continuum or spectrum, we are never just a straight line or all one thing. You can look at aspects of our personality, our thinking, and our actions and we will all have our own quirks and diversities. I liked the idea of it, but I'm not sure how to use it yet though it seems to fit in this draft poem for now. We'll see if it goes anywhere. 

At least I've started. 

The Struggle to Return

The snow and cold have come back as I worried they would. February was snow free until the last week when we got dumped on. My kids are finally getting a chance to go cross-country skiing with their schools. That and ice skating are part of the curriculum here in winter, but they are past the point of enjoying winter activities. The light is back and we're all ready for winter to be over, but we'll spend this month crawling ourselves away from it towards spring. Everything is so gray and frozen here, it's hard to summon up much enthusiasm. 

Now my uni course is finished, I'm trying to get back into some writing routine. I can carve time in the weekends to write, but I'm unfocused. One of the paid projects I applied for didn't happen, so I'm waiting on the other and have several unpaid opportunities coming up, but instead of writing something towards them, I spent most of yesterday morning chiselling away at one poem.

I'd written a poem with a slight scientific, theme and I had been looking at the Fibonacci sequence and trying to incorporate it somehow. I discovered yesterday that there is a poetic form based around it, the Fib poem. It's a simple, non-rhyming form which appeals to me. I'm trying it with word count instead of syllables as I'm lazy and am having enough trouble making it fit without having to break it down into further complications. It's coming together, but I haven't written anything new.

I've often taken writing courses as a way of boosting inspiration and getting back to writing daily. I might look into my regular ones and see what's happening there. Until then I just need to pick up my pen and get scribbling. 

I had three poems appear in Issue 7 of Flights, an e-journal back in December that I'm not sure if I shared. It's great to be included with such impressive writers. And also in December, I had three poems published in the Sunday Mornings at the River anthology. 

This is available also as an e-book which I've never been fond of, but I'm seeing them as an affordable way to buy books I would struggle to afford or to have posted due to Brexit nonsense, so it's allowing me to read more recent books which is always a good thing. Though I've discovered that poetry doesn't always work on a phone screen, the lines get enjambed wrong at least not at the magnification I need, so will need to read poetry texts on my computer.

Back to the grind. Enjoy. 

The Keeking Light

We had a bit of sunshine this week, one whole day of it on Friday from sunrise at 8am-ish to sunset at 4.30-ish. The return of the sun is a big deal in the north of Finland, but even in Southern Finland it has had a huge impact and immediately boosted everyone's moods. It has been a very dark and dreary winter this year, not just because the sun sets early and rises so late. It's been so overcast during the daylight hours that we haven't actually had more than a few hours of direct sunlight for maybe two months. It dampens everything and everyone in the country. So one day of pure sunlight, icy cold, is like a shot of adrenaline. Even if it's been followed by more snow and overcast weather. 

This feeling that spring is possible has given me a boost to move into looking for some new projects. So I'm applying for a grant, the first time I've tried it in Finland. Luckily, this application can be in English as I'm not up for an all Finnish application. I'm pretty sure I don't have a chance, but it's good practice and I can see how the process works. My writing group is also jumping into a new phase and we might eventually want to ask for some money. We've got a great group of enthusiastic and diverse writers, so we might has well push the boat out a little. 

I haven't written many grants and I don't have the knack as some people I have met who know the buzz words, the way to make something simple sound important and impactful. I don't invest a lot of personal emotion in them, but I also don't work only as a writer, so any money I get is bonus and totally unexpected. The money for writing time is definitely needed if I want to actually put some serious effort in my worj. Currently, I fit it into the weekend, around things I need to do for my work, my kids. I'd love to be a full-time writer, but I can't for my kids' sake. I'll throw this grant and another project I've applied for totally into the hands of the Fates and take what they give me in return. 

Publication news: I'm so delighted to be included in the most recent issue of Eemis Stane, a primarily Scots language publication. The team is just brilliant and so helpful with getting the Scots in my poems jist richt. I'm still learning, so it's been great to work with them and to be included, though Scots for me is a learned language, rather than a native tongue. The scope of the magazine is amazing and global even though it's focussed on a minority language, from a sample of Catalan translations of a Scots novel to a whole collection of great Scots poems and a review of a book of Scots translations of Chinese poets. I feel like I'm a small part of a new vitalising movement. 

Here's hoping more sunshine is on the way. 

2022 Writing Review

I thought when I finished my course (I finished my course!!!) and handed in that last assignment I'd have more time to do things that had been shuffled aside these last three months and for most of 2022 really. But here I am three weeks later and I feel like I'm still struggling to get on with things. I'm unsure if it's a lack of motivation, the lack of a whip encouraging me to move forward or the fact that we're still buried under a dark and snowy winter here in Finland that's holding me back. 

It's taken me a week to even write this entry, but here it is, halfway through  January and I'm just looking at my submission and writing stats for 2022. 

34 new poems written  

84 submissions to journals or other opportunities

4 books submissions

66 rejections

4 book rejections

28 acceptances

53 poems published in 26 publications 

15 blog posts   

Acceptance rate: 32% 

Compared to 2021:

61 new poems

144 submissions to journals or other opportunities

3 book submissions

108 rejections 

5 book rejections

38 acceptances 

68 poems were published in 39 publications

21 blog posts

Acceptance rate: 26%

I submitted and wrote less, so I didn't hit my 100 rejection goal. However, my acceptance rate has jumped up again and I've had a couple of exciting projects over the year. This includes lots of audio work: my iamb poetry page, working with the Helsinki Writers to produce a poetry recording with Helsinki Open Waves and the Eat the Storms poetry podcast.

I've also had work included in Fevers of the Mind, Sunday Mornings at the River, Empty House Press, Black Nore Review, Scrawl Place, Frogmore Papers, Fly on the Wall, The Martello and Black Bough among others. Of course, my poetry collection still wasn't published, but I'm trying not to think about that. 

A few books that I've read and enjoyed in 2022: 

Karen Campbell's Paper Cup. A total surprise that I picked up in Helsinki. I knew nothing about it but saw the author had worked at the Glasgow City Council, so I was intrigued. The characters were so well-drawn and engaging, and the story was unexpected and fun. I loved the settings of Glasgow and Galloway, the use of Scots that fit so well. The story is a "stramash of memories" for the main character and me, going through Glasgow and university life around the same time I was there. Really worth reading.

I rattled through the three Laidlaw books by William McIlvanney and loved them. Crime novels with a depth of character and Glasgow sketched in such a beautifully realistic way, totally captivating. I also read Docherty which was an insightfully written family saga, but it just didn't grab me in the same way though I could see McIlvanney's deft skill in many places. 

Another fave was Merryn Glover's Of Stone and Sky based on a community in the Cairngorms. My reviews of some of these books can be seen in my Scottish Book Tour posts starting here.

I have a pile of poetry books to read, but they require more focus than I've had recently, so I hope to get back into reading them more now that my course is out of the way. 

2023 is a year of getting back into the things I love. The course was for my work. I enjoyed it, but it was more to help me move forward in my job and do better for my school kids. Writing is for me, so I hope to focus on that more. A few plans are crawling into motion, so I'll see how they pan out and keep looking for new opportunities. 

Welcome to 2023. Enjoy.